Tuesday, March 28, 2006
What kind of Girlfriend am i?
You're a Steady Supporter
Stand by your man — that's just something you naturally do. Once you've committed to a relationship, you are a constant companion who enjoys the comfort and stability that comes from being a couple. Not quick to judge, accuse, or think the worst, you have a lot of trust (in him and in yourself), and you rarely worry about where he is or who he's with.For you, mutual respect is of utmost importance. You are comfortable and confident in your own skin, making you a great pillar of strength in all your relationships. Whether he's striving to climb a mountain or land a promotion, you have his back. Best part is, you know he's got yours too.
What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?Brought to you by
Tickle
babyheartz's black past on 11:06 AM
Monday, March 27, 2006
Our time is running out- Muse
I think I'm drowning
Asphyxiated
I wanna break this spell
That you've created
You're something beautiful
A contradiction
I wanna play the game
I want the friction
You will be the death of me
You will be the death of me
Bury itI won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it
Our time is running out
Our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out
I wanted freedom
Bound and restricted
I tried to give you up
But I'm addicted
Now that you know I'm trapped
sense of elation
You'd never dream of
Breaking this fixation
You will squeeze the life out of me
Bury itI won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it
Our time is running out
Our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out
How did it come to this?
Ooooohh
You will suck the life out of me
Bury itI won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it
Our time is running out
Our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out
How did it come to this?
Ooooohh
babyheartz's black past on 11:05 PM
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
why..
~ I'm heart brokened~
babyheartz's black past on 11:24 PM
finally...
Dear God,
Thank you for what happened tonight.
Thank you for letting us talk..
I am greatful for it all.
I pray he is ok..
I hope.. he will always be ok..
Pls take care of him...
Tonight.. i saw a totally different side of you.. i loved to see it.. cause i saw that u are human.. and that at least i know i was not crazy to see something in u.. tonight.. i saw ur heart and soul. Too late.. but better late then never i guess... Thanks..
I'm really glad that everything is resolved.. I can finally breath again.. For someone whom i never got to have a future with... but i know i could have.. its just the circumstances... i'm really sorry about everything that happened to you.. to me.. to us.. but its alright.. everything happens for a reason... I forgive u... and i will always be there for u... and remember.. ur not losing us.. where there is a will there is a way... FRIENDS always ya sweetie! anyway, consider this my last gift to u.. the first and last song.. i shall consider it our song.. haha...
ONE LASTI never could imagine, life without you
From the moment you walked into my world
Never knew how long a loving flame could burn
But losing you has forced me to learn
That we can't change the way we feel inside
And every try at love never turns out right
We both know it's better if we just let it go
So let's have
Chorus:
One last kiss
One last touch
One last tender moment between us
One last dance
To our first song
While pretending there's nothing wrong
Let's stay here for awhile and
Cherish every moment we're in denial
We both know
Its better if we just let it go
Everytime I try to take a stand at all
I see your face again and I fall
In the middle of the night there's the scent of a rose
The smell of your perfume I suppose
But we can't change the way we feel inside
And every try at love never turns out right
We both know it's better if we just let it go
So let's have
Chorus
Baby if we met each other under a different sky
Maybe then things would be much better between you and I
We could always hold on to this one special thing we share
But it would be too much for us to bear
So let's have
Chorus
We both know
It's better if we just let it goYour right.. its too beautiful a song.. haha..
babyheartz's black past on 3:20 AM
Friday, March 17, 2006
updatesssssssss
The past few days seem to past by really fast. So let me recap slightly..
WED
Met Ri for the first time. He was late so i waited for him at YCK along with my friends. I felt slightly awkward at first. but after that it was ok.. haha.. it got more comfortable la. We all headed to esplanade for meeting with the external theatre group which some of us like nisa, nizam etc are joining. He just sat there and listen to the meeting.. haha.. so poorthing... i felt bad la since we were supposed to be on a sort of date.. so i excused myself halfway.. haha.
He was hungry so wen to marina square to eat.. I didnt eat la.. just watch him eat. haha.. then i was sooo cold cause the aircon there was really really cold.. so went to marina promenade.. ther we talked and got to know each other la.. and the rest..... is history... haha.. not important...
I had a good time.. Glad we finally met ar..
THURS
Nothin much. Screwed up the med surg presentation. but somehow i dun care... haizz.. like watever laaaaaar...
FRI
at clinical trials now.. thinking about starting to study for psycho today.. scared this weekend i no time.. busy weekend.. GM, auditions, drama workshop.... and still got orientation witht he kids of the theatre group.. haha.. kinda exciting!1
kk.. better pay attention.. will update later tonight in detail k!
babyheartz's black past on 2:22 PM
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
i got sushine in a bag......
ITS OVER!almost......Yayness ppl....at least majority settled..im so like so smiling now ar..WHY?Top 5 reasons why annur is smiling at this very moment. 1) the meeting is OVER2) i got nothing to study for till 2 weeks time..3) i've settled majority of my issues of the heart4) i saw dear FAISAL today5) spent time with my com todayoverall a good day people..*CLAPS*ok.. stil got things to so though.. haha.. SHIT. suddenly im sleepy.. but i promised someone i would call him tonight.i think better call.. else.. later MAJOR MERAJOKNESS...cya later peeps!* i'm smiling more, and its all ur fault! ;) *
babyheartz's black past on 11:18 PM
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
YAYNESS!
my god.
any idea how relieved i am to have finished my bio prac paper?
PHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW!
wasnt too bad.. thanks to DARLING ARIFAH.. omg..
I SO OWE U..
Love u!
hehe
ok so like i had my paper.. then after school met up with nisa at bishan awhile for some window shoppin and yummy chocolate fudge cake at secret recipe.. nisa and i got sleepy so we headed home after! haha.. short meet but it was fun anyway! haha..
Nisa i still like that S&K jacket!!!!
then on my way back got sweet msg from someone.. hehe..
SO SWEET LAR U...
*ladidadida*
hmm.. oh YAH.. on sunday went to tangs to get the chocolate fountain for my aunt as a housewarming gift.. haha.. hope she likes! hmm.. then went to HAAGEN DAAAAAAZ!!!
haha.. had the fondue with my mummy. it was soooo YUM! haha.. heaven lar.....
my god.. i still got clinical theory tomorrow.. waaah.. like lazy to study leh.. hmm okok.. better sleep now and wake at 4am to study.. cause im still sleepy form the lack of sleep yesterday..hehe..
oh yah.. tomorrow is THE meeting..
get ready ppl..
lets get it OVER AND DONE WITH..
then can move on...
i can TASTE the freedom lar...
*sigh*
thats all for tonight.. will update within the next 2 days for sure..
* could this really be real.. are u really as sweet as u seem?*
babyheartz's black past on 9:28 PM
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
I'm Not Happy.
Mood : Deep Sadness
Music: Absolutely Zero by Jason Mraz
THoughts:
Been feeling rather numb about everything. Today i tried my best to be happy. I smiled, laughed but in reality... i guess im just kidding myself. When i got home. I sat in front of my computer and suddenly, the honest truth of how im feeling revealed itself.
The Honest Truth? - I'm NOT Happy.
Yes ladies and gentlemen. I admit it completely now. I'm no longer in denial. I am not happy. Not at all.
This revelation of finally admitting the obvious truth is quite liberating actually. I realise, im generally not a happy person. I'm very seldom really happy. I've been so intoxicated with pleasing everyone else that somewhere... i started to drown.. but today i put my head above the water and saw things clearlyfor a second. Something i havent done in a long while. Today i could breath just a little. I felt my chains loosen just a little. Though i'm not emancipated or anythin, i am however feeling extremely somewhat serene. Not happy. Just.. Serene. Very much in acceptance with the world.
Thinking back i realise that i've changed alot. I also realise that i changed mostly for others. Not for myself. Is that a bad thing? I guess i just realise that i am very much about others. I'm not trying to sound like the most giving person or the most self rightous, generous person. I know i'm nothing that fantastic. All i realise is that i make my world revolve around the people i care about. I do actually always put everyone and everything else before myself. No, i'm not looking for appreciation or acknowledgement. I'm simply telling you about a realisation i made. I realise i would actually do almost anything i can if it makes someone i care about happy.. It's wierd cause i think i do it not cause i want satisfaction in myself, but i guess satisfaction that i took care of someone i care about. I just never realised that while i was taking care of and looking out for and protecting all these ppl, who is doing the same for me? so in the end i'm surrounded by these people who are happy and problem free and all that, and yes i do feel a sense of releif that they are happy but i realise that at the end of the day. Im NOT happy.
I don't know if it's a weakness or a strength. But i do know that basically, my life depends alot around being a reliable person to others.
My goal now is just to do my job. Fulfill my duties as a student, daughter, H.O.D.
The rest.. can wait.
My happiness... can wait...
* Happiness is...
Realising that YOU deserve it..*
-Sweetie,Things have not been easy,But always know that i have faith.Till we meet again,I pray god takes care of you always.I miss you dearly.
babyheartz's black past on 11:27 PM
falalla
ok.. currently im on the phone with my best friend. She is freaking out cause A levels results are coming out today.
GOOD LUCK to Nur Liyana Bte Saine! you'll be fine.. I know you will.
Ok.. so my auditions are today! like so cool rite! ahhaha
ok actually i got nothin much la..
Walking Awaysometimes some people get me wrong
when it's something I've said or done
sometimes you feel there is no fun
that's why you turn and run
but now I truly realise
some people don't wanna compromise
well I saw them with my own eyes
spreading those lies
and well I don't wanna live my life
too many sleepless nights
not mentioning the fights
i'm sorry to say lady
I'm walking away
from the troubles in my life
I'm walking away
oh to find a better day
I'm walking away
from the troubles in my life
I'm walking away
oh to find a better day
I'm walking away
Well I'm so tired baby
things you say you're driving me away
whispers in the powder room baby
don't listen to the games they play
girl I thought you'd realise
I'm not like them other guys
coz I saw them with my own eyes
you should've been more wise
and well I don't wanna live my life
too many sleepless nights
not mentioning the fights
I'm sorry to say lady
I'm walking away
from the troubles in my life
I'm walking away
oh to find a better day
I'm walking away
from the troubles in my life
I'm walking away
oh to find a better day
I'm walking away
im just closing myself up to everything. Im just so irritated with all this nonsense. It's all a waste of time la.. GET IT?
* sidenote- i miss my boyfriend.
babyheartz's black past on 12:37 PM
